Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Growing up is hard...

... but good.

I had a good cry with my mentor earlier today.
I will admit that I was embarassed to be crying, but there was no way of holding the tears back. They've been a long time coming, and with a simple question ("why do you think you're struggling to balance everything so far this semester?") the flood gates opened and the water works came forth at the realization of my answer:

I am lazy. I am immature. I have not been committed to my school work and I have not done my best. I am capable of a lot more than I am achieving.
I am disappointed in myself.

And the worst of it is that I've allowed it defeat me thus far. That's where Dr. H's mentoring comes in--she listened to what I had to say, then helped me find new perspective and helped me discover that which I can do to reform.

I know now that my concern and emotion invested in my frustration will move me to growing out of my immature mentality and start taking on a more adult mentality and a stronger work ethic.

I can do better. I will do better.
I already am on my way--back to reading.

3 comments:

Tracy Jabbal said...

girl i am in the same boat and im a senior (maybe thats the bad combo that is leading to the immaturity and laziness). i struggle with that everyday.
like... NOW for instance: i had planned this part of my morning to study. and what am i doing? reading peoples' blogs! AGHHHH!

The Cain family said...

I quit working along time ago. . . they keep paying me though because I show up and sing songs and play dumb games. They don't know how lazy I am...and immature... and almost 27 years old.

Get through school. . .and then you'll have something else to get through. . .don't stress. Just do the bast you can.

The Cain family said...

look, I'm so lazy, I'm not going to correct my grammatical error in the first sentence.