Whoa Dang...

WARNING: MESSAGE BASED AROUND THE DEPRESSED RAMBLINGS OF A GIRL IN THE MIDST OF THE LONG DISTANCE BLUES

I hadn't realized that I hadn't posted since December! I've kept up, mostly, with everyone else's but I guess I kept feeling like I had written that post relatively recently for some strange reason... If only I had decided to reread it earlier than just now, I might have been able to keep you up-to-date!

So we got through the Christmas season in fabulous fashion- Grady's family is spectacular and a lot of fun. I completely loved being in North Carolina! Most of all, I enjoyed being with Grady day in and day out (relatively) for nearly a month. We haven't gotten to spend more than a week at a time together since the summer '07, however those weeks together have been exceedingly rare as well.

January absolutely flew by, but at the same time it felt like it dragged by. I have to wonder if that month together was really a blessing... I think the way I miss Grady has intensified now that I've had a taste of what I have to look forward to post-graduation. I was lucky enough to get a surprise visit from the mister on Friday- he drove up for my birthday party! That was nice for the 20 or so hours he was with me... And then I kind of just fell back into it, this despair that I can't quite seem to shake.

Everyone keeps telling me that I need to focus on the now, live in the present; please believe me- I'm trying. It's just that after a little more than two and a half years together apart, I'm kind of exhausted. I feel like I'm losing my grip on sanity sometimes... And if it wasn't entirely worth it, if I didn't completely know that Grady is so boss and the cat's pajama's, I'd so call it quits and restore my sanity. But it is worth it and I know how wonderful my Grady is; I also know how much worse I would feel if we took a break, put it on pause, or whatever else you want to call it...

A few things that make me feel better, besides being with him:
1) Looking at pictures
2) Reading letters/texts from him
3) Listening to good music, this one in particular

Oh well, such is life. I'll figure it all out and start to feel better soon I hope.